Yuki's inner conflict
by Sakura no Hakushi
Summary: I noticed a few minor mistakes in the story so I corrected them. Summery: Yuki wants to tell Shuichi something...but can he? Please R&R.


Disclaimer: I never and will never own Gravitation.  
  
Why? Why, must it be like this? Why?  
  
I stare into the night looking at nothing but seeing everything. "Why?" I ask myself this every time after making love to him. I know he would do anything to stay with me but I sometimes wonder if I am worth his love. I want to show him that I care about him more than I can say but..I just can't let it come out.  
  
He makes me remember the days when I was just like him, happy with life, loving the world and what I had. But everything changed that fateful night when the one I admired and loved the most betrayed me. That's probably why I want to leave him, he reminds me of myself when I still loved everything around me. I want to be with him but at the same time..I don't want him near me.  
  
"Why?" Why can't I tell him that I love him? Right when I am willing to admit it to him I open my mouth getting ready to say "I love you more then you can imagine, never leave me, I love you, shuichi." But when I finally find my voice to speak this is what comes out, "Get out, brat, I'm tired." I can see the pain I cause him after that. I can't stand to see him like that so I turn away. I then hear him leave the room and settle on the couch. I try as hard as I can to get up and bring him back here with me but I can't. Tears form at my eyes at my lack of strength to do what I dream of doing, telling the missing part of my broken soul, that I love him and would die without him.  
  
It's been so long since I even uttered those words, sure I write them millions of times in my novels but it's not the same. When I write those three words they mean nothing to me but if I do say them to someone it will be like I'm throwing my heart at their feet, waiting for it to be stamped and walked upon like last time. Even though I know he will not even think of doing something as such, I still can't bring myself to say it to him.  
  
A tear silently falls from my eye. It's tearing me up inside, my heart feels like it wants to burst from the way I have been holding back on my words. My chest tightens every time I stare into his beautiful violet eyes. I want to tell him so badly but..I am afraid. Afraid of what will happen will he think I waited to long to tell him and when I do, will he leave me?  
  
I hear a cry come from the living room. He must have fell off the couch again. A small smile comes to my lips, even though he can be really annoying sometimes he is still very cute. I can see him now pouting and looking dejectedly at the couch as if it threw him off. I chuckle lightly. I hear him walking towards me but then I hear the bathroom door open and close. I sigh. If he would just appear next to me now I might be able to say what I long to say to him. I hear a yell come from the bathroom and light cursing; he must have hit his head. I sit up in my bed.  
  
Maybe..maybe..  
  
Maybe this is my chance. I slide out from under the covers and place my feet on the cold floor. I never realized how cold my I mean our house was until he came into my life. I smile, but whatever place he is, there is warmth and love radiating around him. I pull myself off the bed and to the door. I pause, my hand on the doorknob. Can I really do this? In my attempt to go through with my resolve I yank open the door.  
  
I stare at my love; there he is standing at the door of the bathroom closing the door staring at me with those wide, beautiful violet eyes.  
  
"..um..I-I'm sorry if I woke you Yuki...I was trying to be quiet, I swear I was." He says to me. I inwardly wince, I know he is afraid I'll get mad at him. I take a breath. "Shu," I wrap my arms around his slim waist and nuzzle his graceful neck, "Shu".  
  
I feel him tense at first but then lean into me. A hint of a smile tugs and my lips. I tighten my arms around him.  
  
"Yuki..wha-"  
  
I silence him by pressing my lips to his. I look into his violet orbs, I can see he is surprised at my actions of affection and I see his eyes glaze over with love. Love only for me. I pull away from his soft, delicate lips. He opens his mouth to speak but I press a finger to his lips to silence him.  
  
"Shu..I.." I look into his questioning eyes, I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding. "Shu..I-I.." I look deep in his eyes, I see all the love and more he has for me. A smile comes to my lips; I kiss his forehead tenderly.  
  
"Shu, I love you more then you will ever know." There I said it. I finally said the words that I've wanted to say to him from the first moment he forced his way into my dull life.  
  
His eyes widen he gasps. I see tears forming in his eyes. He throws his small arms around my shoulders and nuzzles his face in my neck I feel his hot tears against my skin.  
  
"Yuki..I love you" he pulls way from my neck and kisses my lips. I bring his small frame closer to me if that was possible and take control of the kiss by sliding my tongue into his subtle mouth. I pull away from the lack of air; we are both gasping for breath. I lean my forehead against his; his eyes are closed, tears still flowing from his eyes.  
  
"Yuki.."he sighs. I wipe away his tears with my thumbs and kiss his eyelids. "Shu"  
  
He opens his eyes at looks at me with all the love that was for me and he smiles. "Yuki..I love you more than life itself, never leave me again Yuki." My eyes widen.  
  
"Never again Shu.never again." I whisper in his ear.  
  
AN: So what do you think good/ bad? Please review I would like to know. ^_^ 


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